Bryan and I had been through a rough few years.

It seemed to start when I lost my mother, whom I loved dearly. It was very tramatic to me, and I was beyond devastated. It was to be the first loss of a parent for either of us, and going through that grief alone was hard. It was the first test we had faced.

Our communication skills have always been a struggle for us. Through trial and error one way or another we get through it, and unlike “Freeworld” Marriages, one disagreement/issue may take 240 phone minutes in 15 minute intervals, 6-10 letters/emails, driving over 300 miles to talk face to face for four hours under the eyes of correctional officers and 50 plus other tables of families. Due to other losses of family and friends, issues with family and myself becoming ill we were tired.

I went to visit Bryan my normal weekend visit in September 2010. I stay at a hospitality house a mile or so away from his unit. During Bible study at the house that Saturday night another wife told me her husband had signed them up for a marriage seminar. I was like “Really? Oh, I want us to do that, but with our sentence they won’t let us participate Bryan was told…..” She was like, “Well lets pray about it, and tell him tomorrow, maybe its your turn?” So I tell him about it the following day and he just smiled and said, “I’ll sign us up, but don’t get upset if we don’t get in.” So I came home, and I was obsessed, I wanted a shot!! We had been working relationship exercises non-stop, to spend 3 days together and get marriage advice/counseling, wow!

So, I wrote the warden a letter. I told him who I was, told him how hard we worked on our marriage, how I would share anything I learned with other couples, and to please look past this sentence, that our marriage was going to succeed regardless of any sentence, so we had every right to the seminar! I prayed over the letter, had great friends help me edit, and I mailed it.

Like a week or so later my phone rang and a lady said she was calling because my husband had signed us up for her marriage seminar, and she was trying to figure out where I lived.. I remember thinking, “Who is this?” Then a bulb went off in my head and in my heart I knew we were to attend the marriage seminar. I remember asking, “Are you sure its us? The Suhres right?” She said so sweetly, “If your husband is Bryan Suhre then its you!” I hadn’t been so happy in I don’t know how long. She told me I could look up WVIW on the internet. I sat there and re-watched the WVIW marriage seminar video probally 200 times in a row..

It was a Thursday, and we were out of phone minutes, so I knew he wouldn’t be calling. So I drove to Coffield that Saturday and surprised him. I told him after his, “I’m so happy to see you, you surprised me!” I said I had to talk to him. I said, “We didn’t get in the seminar Bryan.” He looked so sad, he got real quiet, and said, “Man, we didn’t? I’m sorry baby.” Then I just busted into a big cheesy grin and said, “WE GOT IN, THE SUHRES GOT PICKED!!” We had no clue what we were in store for, all we thought about was marriage counseling..

When I got my packet it all sunk in what this seminar was. Meals together? Pictures? 13 hours on Saturday? In the unit on a Friday? WOW.. I was overwhelmed emotionally, and we shared all this over the phone, we were so excited..

I remember clearly walking into the hotel the day before and walking right into Johnny Moffitt. We chatted, what stuck in my head was him saying, “You’ll spend more time with your husband this weekend, then you have in a year.” That made it surreal.

When Bryan walked into the room at the seminar the first day, I could barely contain my tears of happiness, as we hugged, and I put his nametag around his neck. We sat down, and just sitting next to each other, we didn’t know what to do.. 11 years of never sitting by each other… It was completely strange to both of us.

Bryan was just sitting by me, and he said, “I saw you walk by the chapel, and I saw you with that folder, I knew you’d be cheating!” HAHA We have so much fun together. Bryan is always making me laugh. We grew up together in the same neighborhood, went to the same church, same schools.. Our friendship is the foundation of what has become our life commitment to our marriage. We are married to our Bestfriends, and it is a true blessing..

Our first meal together was so awesome, Bryan doesn’t get fresh vegetables, so when he saw Pizza and salad, the salad alone made him so happy. It was to be the first meal we shared together in our marriage. I asked him what I should get on my salad, he said, “I don’t know whatever you want.” I replied, “I’m giving you my salad, so what would you like on it..” It was to be the first of multiple gestures of love and sharing we got to experience that weekend. Just so you know, he also took my last piece of pizza, which I had not agreed to share!

When we got ready to end the day, I told him, “I will see you for breakfast my love”..

Saturday morning I skipped eating at the hotel because I had a breakfast date with my man. Eating breakfast, while being hungry, was his chance to see that I can put away food just as good as him. And he got to drink coffee, which I allowed, because I cant stand the smell, he wont even drink it before I come to visit, because he knows, I hate the smell, taste, etc. But I wanted him to have “freeworld coffee”.. Plus its always good to have some brownie points. When we broke into groups, was when we got to really work on stuff. Bryan holds a lot in. And we were so close to breaking down the walls through the groups. I got to hear him open up about issues and worries he has.

We have a long sentence, 99 years to be exact. We don’t even see parole for the first time till 2026. I remember one of our group leaders said something about parole, and Bryan had said, “They don’t have to let me go.“ It was the first time he had ever said that to me in that way, and my heart was breaking for him.

Being in the setting of the seminar, however I could comfort him like I had never been able to, I could whisper in his ear that everything was going to be ok. I’ve never been able to do that… Through the split session, Kristi Highwalker talked of letting things go, God loves you, move forward from this day. Something in her speech, really sunk in with him. He came back to our table and it was the face of almost a “saved man”.. My heart was filled with so much hope and love, and strength, and it was all due to the marriage seminar.

My husband was being treated as a man, a human being, shown love from complete strangers, eating meals with his wife, feeding his wife.

We had written notes to each other all weekend, on each other syllabus’ and our napkins. They are such treasured possessions. We switched name tags, because Travis Moffitt said we were “One” so we were like, lets switch nametags, we’re one. We were able to worship together, hear the word of God together, he got to sing off-key in my ear. I told him that night that our sentence didn’t define anything, I was in this marriage for life, and that was it, so when he was down, he needed to realize I wasn’t going anywhere.. I would never be able to tell him something deep like that in the visitation room, you can’t really show emotion.. But in the marriage seminar, we were Bryan and Patricia Suhre; not 772073 & WIFE.

Our last day on Sunday, I was already counting how long we had left. I was dreading leaving the unit. I didn’t want this weekend of blessings to end. We both were pretty quiet during breakfast savoring our meal and each others company. We were trying to figure out poses for pictures, because like everything else, we didn’t communicate it through enough. I remember asking Javier to maybe suggest some poses, and Bryan said, “I know one I want to do, and have always wanted to do.” I turned to him as I was about to say, “What?” He dropped down on his knee and asked me to remarry him… I was so shocked, it took my breath away… He had become My Hero yet again. I forgot about pictures, I was so happy and we were just being us, but Thank Goodness Javier snapped away, because those pictures allowed me and Bryan to show the world what “Our Love and Marriage” looked like and the joy it brings us.. I cherish the photographs so much from our weekend together, that in itself is a huge blessing.. Bryan and I have always been Christians, have always had faith, but the WVIW Marriage Seminar Jump started our faith in God, and we really saw that we needed to practice that faith in every aspect in our life. The words from All the volunteers, the preachings of Travis and Johnny Moffitt showed us what our marriage needed to be, and showed us what we wanted to be.

The benefits of attending the WVIW Marriage Seminar and the blessings haven’t stopped. We use everything we learned daily. Our marriage is stronger than ever. We even talk to each other differently. And we never were a couple who fought, we don’t curse each other, but we can sure can argue a point till we are blue in the face.. We will be forever greatful for the renewal of faith the seminar brought us and our marriage. The time we got to spend together is what we cherish, the small things of eating meals together, worshiping and fellowshipping with other couples of incarceration and with the volunteers and WVIW staff.. And to be attending again, we are even more excited than we were last time, because we know how wonderfully blessed this weekend will be to us and the other couples.
Thank you !!


Bryan & Patricia